Emotional Abuse: Self-Sabotage
Mindy Lawrence
Cookbook and children’s author Crescent Dragonwagon tells participants in her classes to stop listening to radio station KRAP if they want to succeed. And she’s right. Listening to negative thoughts sets your mind up for self-sabotage.
Individuals sabotage themselves for many reasons. If you came from a dysfunctional family, you might suffer from ambivalence about what happens to you or feel like the members of your family have told you how imperfect you are for so long you can’t view yourself as successful. Your relationships might be problematic.
Self-sabotage can be conscious or unconscious. If you are on a diet and you eat a box of donuts, that’s conscious sabotage of your goal of losing weight. But if you miss a deadline, you are unconsciously sabotaging your job. Maybe it’s because you don’t feel comfortable about your performance and are afraid of failure.
You can avoid self-sabotage by using some of these choices:
· Look for patterns that you have followed for years. Have you repeatedly made U-turns just before you succeeded? See if you can figure out why these events have happened and why you shied away.
· Stop procrastinating. If you put something off, it might be less painful than concluding it. But you must learn to finish.
· Don’t look at the big plan. Take small steps so you don’t get overanxious and frustrated.
Set yourself up for success. Listen to Radio KANN (can).
LINKS
Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, MindTools.com,
Why People Self-Sabotage, VeryWell Mind, Barbara Field
Self-Sabotage, Psychology Today
How Self-Sabotage Holds you Back, Healthline, Crystal Raypole
Avoiding Self-sabotage: How Your Thoughts Can Work against You, Prospect Medical
